UWT appoints Woodruff Dalmatio to position of Official Comedian

Announcement
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

The President and Governors of the University of West Terrier are pleased to announce that Woodruff Dalmatio will join the faculty of the university. Dalmatio will assume the rôle of Official Comedian on 4 March 2018.

One of The Park’s first standup comedians, Woodruff Dalmatio is the author of Fine Lines and Wrinkles: Standing up for Comedy in the Modern Park. The book, which won the 2015 Chitter Radio Literary Award in the humour category, also became a film. Directed by Ludmilla Ptak and starring Dalmatio, the film won rave reviews after it premièred at the 2015 Park Interspecial Film Festival (PIFF).

More recently, Dalmatio was the guest speaker at the university’s open house on 29 January. He spoke to a record crowd of attendees on the subject of, “The Symbiotic Relationship Between Comedy and Higher Education.” He also spoke about the rôle and value of higher education in the entertainment business as a whole.

The university will hold a meet and greet event for students and faculty. The date and time for the meet and greet has yet to be determined.

University announces 2017 commencement speaker

Announcement
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

The President and Governors of the University of West Terrier are pleased to announce that Vadim Kobras will deliver the 2017 UWT Commencement Address.

Vadim Kobras has served for the past decade as Chief Architect of Fleck + Stone, the firm he co-founded in 2004. Among the firm’s notable achievements are the design of The Institute for the Study of Mammalian Life, The Burrow Theatre, and The Park Museum. Most recently, Kobras designed the multi-level 2017 Groundhog Day prognostication pad.

A proud UWT alumnus who holds a degree in history as well as in design, Kobras helped to establish the UWT School of Architecture and in 2015 he accepted an ongoing guest lectureship. A passionate champion of his own species and its accomplishments, Kobras established the group, BeaverBoosters. He is currently at work on a book about Beaver architecture.

University congratulates Noreen on her literary award nomination

Announcement
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

The President and Governors of the University of West Terrier wish to congratulate Noreen on her nomination for a Chitter Radio Literary Award in the speech category.

Noreen, who serves as adjunct professor in the Department of Human Studies, chaired our October 2016 forum on The Effects of Human Architecture on Other Animals. On the second day of that two-day event, Noreen addressed the forum and gave a speech that was riveting  and insightful. “Doors, Screens, Walls, Halls: The Ins and Outs of Human Architecture,” opened a window into aspects of the Human world with which many of us were not familiar.

Congratulations, Noreen, and thank you for your work at the University of West Terrier. We all owe you a debt of gratitude.

 

Historian and author Pieter Paard to speak at UWT Open House

Announcement
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

The President and Governors of the University of West Terrier are pleased to announce that Pieter N. Paard will speak at the University’s annual Open House on January 29, 2017.

Paard, a UWT professor of history, is the author of several books, including From Slavery to Freedom: A History of Pack Animals and, most recently, The Fierce Urgency of Miaow: Jor and the Feline Roots of Zoocracy (February release).

Paard will talk about his research on the organic roots of zoocracy and the place of Animal self-rule in the wider world. We thank Pieter Paard for taking the time to address incoming and aspiring students and we invite all Park residents to attend the talk and to discover the world of the University of West Terrier.

Annual Open House • 29 January 2017

Snacks, beverages, and brochures will be available from 12:00 until 20:30

University announces commencement speaker

Announcement
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

The President and Governors of the University of West Terrier are pleased to announce that Hermione Hippo will deliver the 2016 UWT Commencement Address.

Hermione Hippo’s nursing career began at a zoological garden south of The Park. Following that, Hermione worked alongside Dr. Bourru at his office until 2004, when she accepted the position of head nurse at the Park Hospital for the Afflicted and Infirm, where she continues to work and to train students of nursing. In March of 2015, she was invited to join the faculty at the University of West Terrier as Assistant Professor in the School of Medicine.

Among Hermione’s credits are the containment of Small Ball Fever in 2007 and of Tulip-Related Illness in 2013. Over the past few years, Hermione has become a passionate advocate of proper nutrition and has spoken at many conferences on the subject of the rôle of nutrition in the maintenance of emotional and mental well-being.

Anonymous donation to fund third study into premature awakening from hibernation

The President and Governors of the University of West Terrier are pleased to announce that a third study into the causes of premature awakening from hibernation has been made possible through a donation made anonymously to the University through the Foundation for the Study of Premature Awakening

This deadly affliction continues to grow in incidence, devastating families in The Park’s hibernating communities. Through outreach programmes via the Foundation, Park Animals have received support and financial assistance. The reasons for this scourge require much further study, however, if we are to prevent further devastation of our hibernating communities.

This new, thirty-six-month project will begin in May 2016. Further announcements will be made regarding the project’s leaders and venues.

The University is deeply grateful for the funding and wishes to thank the anonymous donor whose generosity and empathy knows no bounds. We are confident that your generous donation will save countless lives and your effort on behalf of hibernators will become a shining example of the power of interspecial caring.

C. Astrid H. Ant, head of Ant Security and Intelligence Service (ASIS) to speak at annual Open House on Friday, January 29

The President and Governors of the University of West Terrier are pleased to announce that C. Astrid H. Ant, head of The Park’s Ant Security and Intelligence Service (ASIS) will speak at the University’s annual Open House on January 29, 2015.

Ant will speak in place of Raymond H. Mink, who postponed his UWT engagement after he was chosen Chief Archon for 2016.

Ant will talk about the importance of education and the rôle that higher education plays in investigative police work and in the maintenance of interspecial harmony in general. We look forward to welcoming C. Astrid H. Ant and we thank her for accepting our invitation at such short notice. We invite all Park residents to attend the talk and to discover the world of the University of West Terrier.

Annual Open House • 29 January 2016

Snacks, beverages, and brochures will be available from 12:00 until 20:30

Raymond H. Mink, Park’s Chief Officer of Peace, to speak at annual Open House January 29

Announcement
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

The President and Governors of the University of West Terrier are pleased to announce that Raymond H. Mink, The Park’s Chief Officer of Peace, will speak at the University’s annual Open House on January 29, 2016.

Mink will talk about the importance of education and the rôle that higher education plays in the maintenance of peace, order, and interspecial harmony. We look forward to welcoming Mink and we invite all Park residents to attend the talk and to discover the world of the University of West Terrier.

Annual Open House • 29 January 2016

Snacks, beverages, and brochures will be available from 12:00 until 20:30

University to investigate allegations of unethical experimentation on Humans

Announcement
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

The President and Governors of the University of West Terrier wish to advise that we have initiated an investigation into allegations of unethical experimentation on Humans. The allegations, of which we were first made aware in June, stem from research conducted in the Department of Human Studies.

Our investigating team consists of several faculty members who serve the university independently of the department in question: Dr. Chloris Cougar, Dr. Fionnula L. Fox, Dr. Hume T. Goat, Dr. Luule Aednik, and Dr. Simone Gibbon. Other members of the team include Dr. Berthilidis Strix, Inspector Antonia T. Fossa of the Interspecial Investigations Unit, and Mr. Justice Augustus Dindon. The entire team will be overseen by Dr. Milada J. page4image31040Goose, head of the Honking Hollow laboratory at the University of West Terrier and a senior member of the Committee to Oversee Scientific Research in The Park (COSRIP).

The university wishes to emphasize that this is an investigation into alleged misconduct and that no particular member of our faculty or student body is under investigation at this juncture. Further details and the results of the investigation will be published and posted as they become available.

Please address media inquiries to enquiries@uwt-edu.com

We thank you for your interest in this matter.

University announces commencement speaker

Announcement
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

The President and Governors of the University of West Terrier are pleased to announce that Noreen will deliver the 2015 UWT Commencement Address.

Noreen has written the advice column, “Dear Noreen,” at The Mammalian Daily, for fifteen years. In June of 2012, she was invited to join the faculty at the University of West Terrier as adjunct professor in the Department of Human Studies.

In her rôle as adjunct professor, Noreen has published two academic articles in the prestigious Journal of Human Behaviour (JHB): “Not Just Skin Deep: On Human Belief Systems and Motivations,” and “How Dubious Wisdom Leads to Human Folly.” She continues to conduct research at the university and, last year, published her first book, Lovely To Look At: What Animals Should Know About Humans, which is intended for a general audience.